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  • Amy Fox

The 1000 Days of Self Love Challenge Step-by-Step Guide

This article is a step-by-step guide describing the process I’m going to be using to do 1000 Days of Self Love. If you fancy taking the challenge too, then feel free to use the same steps outlined here. The steps, wording and phrases I’ve used might not feel quite right for you though so adjust them to however feels best. Every journey is unique to the individual so make it your own as much as you want!

OK let’s dive straight into it!

Step 1 - The List

Take a pen and a piece of paper and write a list of all the things you really love to do. Spend some time on this and really feel into what are the things in your life that make your heart sing with joy. What lights you up? What makes you feel the most connected to the essence of your soul? To give you an example, the list might look something like this -

  • Wild swimming in the summer

  • Watching the sunset

  • Going on a long bike ride

  • Hiking in the mountains

  • Taking a yoga / martial arts / acrobatics / fitness class

  • Spending quality time with a treasured friend or family member

  • Taking an essential oil or salt bath

  • Foraging for wild foods

  • Riding a motorbike through the countryside

  • Watching the full moon rise

  • Spending time with my dog / cat / horse etc

  • Wakeboarding / surfing / snow boarding / skating etc

  • Meditation

  • Phoning an old and special friend

  • Drinking hot chocolate in a favourite cafe

  • Painting / drawing / taking photographs / craft making etc

  • Drinking my favourite red wine by an open fire

  • Spending time in nature

  • Visiting a place I’ve always wanted to

  • Playing the guitar / drums / saxophone etc

  • Eating pizza with a good friend

  • Looking for shells on the beach

  • Dancing around the kitchen!

Try to think of as many things as you can because I feel like the more suggestions you give yourself, the easier it’ll be to do one every day. And my suggestion to you is to keep this list close by. You could decorate it and stick it on the wall in your bedroom or just keep it at the front of your journal and on your bedside table. You could even get really creative and make a collage using illustrations and magazine cutouts (pre-technology style ;) !) that represent these things you love to do and then stick that somewhere you will see it often. This is quite important because it’s useful to have something to refer to when you’re trying to think of an act of Self Love to do for that day. If you’re feeling stuck for inspiration then it helps to have a list close by to choose from and it also serves as a reminder to do the challenge that day…!

Step 2 - The Commitment

Make the commitment. For my commitment I’m going to use the following phrase -

‘Today on Monday the 8th August 2022, I Amy Louise Fox, make the commitment to love myself, all parts of myself, unconditionally, every single day, from this day forward. And so it is.’

Write your commitment phrase on a piece of paper, and when you say the words, say them out loud. Choose a special moment, you could even make a little ritual or ceremony for the occasion. You could light a candle, burn some incense, and even time it to do it on a new moon if you’re that way inclined :) ! You could also say the words in front of a mirror, looking into your eyes, for an even deeper connection to yourself.

Step 3 - The Phrase

Each day, when you’re about to do something from your list, say the following phrase out loud -

‘Today on day … I consciously choose to … as an act of Self Love.’

So, for example, the thing I’ve chosen to do on this particular day as an act of Self Love is to have an epsom salt bath. So as I’m running the bath I say out loud the phrase - ‘Today on day 77 I consciously choose to take an epsom salt bath as an act of Self Love.’

Step 4 - 1000 Days

Now repeat step three every day for the next 1000 days.

If you decide to do more than one thing on any particular day then just remember to say the phrase each time. Obviously the more of these little gifts we give ourselves each day the better, but the key here is to make sure you always do at least one. Even if we have a really busy lifestyle it’s always possible to do one thing every day. An act of Self Love could be as simple as eating your favourite bar of chocolate. Just as long as you do it consciously, with the intention of it being a treat for you to show yourself love, then it absolutely counts! And if you really feel like you have no time at all then an intentional five-minute meditation, dedicated to yourself, is also a loving gesture that can work well too.

Other Acts of Self Love

You could even expand the ways in which you show yourself love. Self Love isn’t only about doing things that fill us with joy. And this challenge doesn’t need to only be about that either. For example, instead of specifically doing something tangible that you enjoy, you could show yourself love by having awareness or doing specific tasks which help to exercise the Self Love muscle.

For example you could say -

‘Today on day 96 I consciously choose to catch out the inner critic whenever I can as an act of Self Love.’

I'm going to include these kinds of acts of Self Love in my own process and I'll describe some of the ones that I use in future blog posts.

Learning to Love Yourself

If you’re interested in learning more about this then I recommend reading Gay Hendricks’ book, Learning to Love Yourself, as he explains so well what it actually means and looks like to love yourself. He doesn’t talk about it in the way of doing the things we love, he talks about loving and accepting ourselves as we are right now. The eureka moment for me whilst reading his book was when he suggests loving yourself for hating yourself. Loving yourself for feeling angry. Or loving yourself for not being able to love yourself! This simple concept was a game changer for me. It was what ultimately got the ball rolling on my Self Love journey because I finally understood that it didn’t have to be such a huge mountain to climb. That I COULD in fact love myself right here right now. I didn’t have to think I was beautiful or successful or mentally stable to love myself. I could love the part of me that feels unattractive, and I could love myself for hating the fact that I felt like a failure. Hendricks explains that actually, of course, it’s these parts that need the most love. The parts of us that hate ourselves for feeling angry or judgmental, for example. Those parts need to be loved the most. Before reading the book I simply couldn’t comprehend how the hell to love myself when I hated myself so much. It felt like too big a task, and not knowing where or how to start meant that I procrastinated in taking that first step. Hendricks suggests some powerful exercises in his book which are also very useful to use in the 1000 Days challenge.

Further Suggestions

As I mentioned earlier, it really is a good idea to sculpt this process into one that fits you perfectly. For example, you don’t even have to do 1000 days, you could do seven, or 30. Whatever fits into your preferences, desires, lifestyle and schedule. It’s still a beautiful gift to give ourselves, no matter what form it comes in. Obviously the aim of this whole thing is Self Love, so it's important not to lose sight of that and put ourselves under unnecessary pressure. Whatever shape the process takes, if it feels self loving to you, then that's probably an indicator that it's right for you ;)

Summary of Steps

For ease of reference here's a quick summary of the main points of each step in the challenge -

Step 1 - Write a list of things you absolutely love to do, all the things that bring joy, peace and love to your being. Keep the list somewhere close and visible.

Step 2 - Write your commitment phrase, choose a day to start the challenge and say the commitment out loud on that particular day.

Step 3 - Begin the challenge by doing something self loving and saying the phrase 'Today on day ... I consciously choose to ... as an act of Self Love' just before doing it.

Step 4 - Repeat step three every day for the next 1000 days.

I'll be starting my challenge next week on Monday 8th August 2022 and I'm really excited to see how the experience unfolds...!

Thank you so much for being here :)

Amy x

Click this link to listen to the podcast version of this blog post

Click this link to buy the paperback version of Learning to Love Yourself by Gay Hendricks

Click this link to buy the audio book version

Click this link to buy both, directly from the author's own website


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